Wives Say The Damnedest Things!

[CDRIVE]

So my wife buys a new plastic shower curtain that employs embedded magnets to hold it snug to the tub. She takes a shower and tells me she thinks she put it up backward because the magnets aren't holding it firmly to the tub. Sure enough when I take a shower I see these weak little suckers don't hold the curtain to the tub at all but there's no difference between the thickness of the magnet pocket and the curtain and they're both made from the same material.

Now comes the good part:

I tell her the material is too inflexible for such weak magnets and that's why they don't hold well. I also ask her why she thinks she put it up backward. She replied "Don't be silly. Everyone knows that magnets pull on one side and push on the other"! I then explained that that's only true where two mating magnets are concerned. I further elaborated and explained how unlike poles attract and like poles repel.

Her reply:

"Well if that's true then please explain why refrigerator magnets only hold on one side"?
I explained that the refrigerator magnets are separated from the refrigerator by only about 5 thousandths of an inch on the back side. While the magnet surface is separated from the front side, where those clever notes, pictures and what-not are visible, by about 160 thousandths of an inch.

I'm not sure but I don't think she believes me and she will probably reverse the shower curtain anyway!

Chris

 

[shrtrnd]

My ex-wives would listen to the neighbors, the mailman, their friends, people in line at the grocery store, and believe them before believing me.
I realized one day that the reason they saw no good reason to believe what I told them, was that they had undeniable
proof that I was not competent.
I had married them.
Tell your wife the bathtub is made of fiberglass, and that's why the magnets don't stick.

 

[BobK]

The only silly thing (electronics releated) the lovely wife Morticia says, is, whenever I make something electronic: "It's not going to burn the house down, is it?" Well, maybe not entirely silly

Bob

 

[shrtrnd]

Hey CDRIVE. BobK has a magnetic personality.
Ask him for some pointers on how to explain magnets to your wife.
(BobK, leave out the chapter on electro-magnets. CDRIVE's wife has a big enough problem with rare-earth ones).

 

[(*steve*)]

I have heaps to add to this thread, but I am tasked with doing stuff for what I think has been described as charkra tuning energy crystals. Or something.

I showed them to a colleague, asking him what he thought they were. After he replied "selenite" it was left to me to educate him about energy cleansing, something he was totally ignorant of!

Oh well, at least there is proof that selenite exists. That's probably a better basis than some other forms of magical thinking.

Oh, and this is a guest at our house, not my wife.

I hope my negative energy can be kept hidden from these crystals.

 

[shrtrnd]

Keep-up the good karma *steve*

 

[Mongrel Shark]

I have a modified DC flyback that could to give those crystals a nice healthy dose of positive energy.
Or if they already have too much, and are leaky, maybe try corona dope? If you don't have corona dope try super glue, hot glue, heatshrink, or black/silver duct tape. In that order of preference.

Or maybe grow some piezo crystals (Rochelle salt) on one so you can silly scope it and make up some story about harmonic resonance etc. Set the scope so it all looks like its got negative offset Try to convince them they have been conned and they should get a refund.

the problem you all have with your wives (and posibly some non tech men) is that you are trying to approach a non logical problem with logic. Remove all traces of logic from your arguments and you should see a marked improvement. The more unbelievable it sounds to you the better it will work.


I remember an ex having a big rant about her flat bike tire not being a flat tire at all but rather it was a flat tube and really it wasn’t flat, it was just low on air and had a hole in it. "Why haven’t you fixed it yet" (me standing there with vulcanizer kit) So I made up some story about how they where high performance tires that could run water inside without rusting the ally rims. The good thing about the water is its inertia smothes out the ride. Making bumps, corners, acceleration and breaking all smother. While increasing rolling glide length with the extra centrifugal force. After we fixed the tube I put 1000ml of water in to prove it.
She was telling all her friends how great it was for months before she noticed her trip times had gotten longer and she had started crashing more.
The reason?
Because the water had gone stale....
I convinced her if you wanted top performance you really needed to change your water weekly. Thats why its normally only done on race bikes and why I wasn't using it. She agreed that it was too much work to change the water all the time and I was free to maintain bikes how I wanted for the remainder of the relationship. She still tells people how amazing I am at bike mechanics and how I know secrets only the pros know.



P.s. If your trying to understand women. Stop. Its not worth it.
Women understand women, and they all hate each other.

 

[FuZZ1L0G1C]

My other half planned to do banking & shopping the following morning, so to remind herself, fixed her debit card to our steel fridge-freezer door in kitchen.
Using two decorative Fridge-Magnets.
Saturday morning, the card would not work.
The customer-care at her bank told her the magnetic stripe was deleted.

 

[ChosunOne]

My other half planned to do banking & shopping the following morning, so to remind herself, fixed her debit card to our steel fridge-freezer door in kitchen.
Using two decorative Fridge-Magnets.
Saturday morning, the card would not work.
The customer-care at her bank told her the magnetic stripe was deleted.

[satire] Tell her to use the right polarity on the magnets next time. I thought everybody knew that those magnetic stripes are encoded with north magnetic fields and south fields will pull the coding off, while north fields just press it on harder. Of course, that's here in North America. That may be reversed on your side of the equator. [/satire]

EDIT: Damn, the satire font isn't working. Could somebody fix that?