G
Genome
- Jan 1, 1970
- 0
Preparation time 4 Hours..
Cooking time variable.
You will need, according to taste. Alcohol, Spliff, Both or multiples
thereoff.
Boil some water and pour 200mL of it into a jug.
Add two desert spoons of Lyles Golden Syrup or Honey and dissolve.
Allow to cool to something warm.
Test with finger, not the one you use to
1) Pick your nose.
2) Scrape the wax out of your ears.
3) Scratch your bumhole.
4) Wibble about under your foreskin.
5) Scrape the black stuff from between your toes.
6) Pluck hairs from your armpits.
7) Pick your psoriasis.
8) Give your partner sexual pleasure.
Hmmmm, OK use your thumb.
Add a 7g sachet of yeast (or two).
Leave in a warm place to Collect film of dust on surface.
Take one large Wok. These are absolutely brilliant for mixing stuff in.
Pour in approximately X teaspoons of salt and add approximately of dried
mixed herbs plus some ground black pepper. Of course you can add other
things if you wish.
Add 471.876 (OK, I meant 492) grammes of plain flour and mix up a bit/lot.
If you are typing the recipe in to your newsreader and have had a couple of
rollies and a piss then, by now, your yeast mixture will have developed a
nice frothy head and the liquid will look like old fetid boil puss.
Don't worry if it hasn't. The yeast is just there to make the dough yeast
flavoured.
Scrape your flour/herb/pepper stuff out the middle of your Wok and pour a
couple or four jiggers of Olive Oil in the hole you just created.
Fold the flour into the hole and stir about a bit. Stir about some more.
Gosh, this is good. It doesn't go all soggy..... almost a crumble mix.
Anyway now add your smeggy yeast puss and stir until that becomes hard work.
Then get your hands in and start squeezing it about.
If you have followed the directions then your result will be a bit dry. So
add a dessert spoon of water and fold it about again.
If it is too wet then add a dessert spoon of flour and do the same.
When it looks just like mine....
Sprinkle some flour on a surface and place the dough on top of it. Sprinkle
some flour on top of the dough and then, with the heels of your palms, and
some pressure, spread it out into a long thing. Then fold it in half and do
it again. And do that some more times until you are bored.
Then squash it back into a ball. Sprinkle some flour in the bottom of your
Wok and stick the dough back in it. Put the lid on it and place in a warm
place for two hours.
Don't bother about it getting twice as big or other rubbish. The yeast is
probably dead by now and you're going to 'knock the dough back' anyway.
This time is provided for a continuation of drinking/spliff time without
cooking interuptions.
Next installment in one and a half hours.
DNA
Cooking time variable.
You will need, according to taste. Alcohol, Spliff, Both or multiples
thereoff.
Boil some water and pour 200mL of it into a jug.
Add two desert spoons of Lyles Golden Syrup or Honey and dissolve.
Allow to cool to something warm.
Test with finger, not the one you use to
1) Pick your nose.
2) Scrape the wax out of your ears.
3) Scratch your bumhole.
4) Wibble about under your foreskin.
5) Scrape the black stuff from between your toes.
6) Pluck hairs from your armpits.
7) Pick your psoriasis.
8) Give your partner sexual pleasure.
Hmmmm, OK use your thumb.
Add a 7g sachet of yeast (or two).
Leave in a warm place to Collect film of dust on surface.
Take one large Wok. These are absolutely brilliant for mixing stuff in.
Pour in approximately X teaspoons of salt and add approximately of dried
mixed herbs plus some ground black pepper. Of course you can add other
things if you wish.
Add 471.876 (OK, I meant 492) grammes of plain flour and mix up a bit/lot.
If you are typing the recipe in to your newsreader and have had a couple of
rollies and a piss then, by now, your yeast mixture will have developed a
nice frothy head and the liquid will look like old fetid boil puss.
Don't worry if it hasn't. The yeast is just there to make the dough yeast
flavoured.
Scrape your flour/herb/pepper stuff out the middle of your Wok and pour a
couple or four jiggers of Olive Oil in the hole you just created.
Fold the flour into the hole and stir about a bit. Stir about some more.
Gosh, this is good. It doesn't go all soggy..... almost a crumble mix.
Anyway now add your smeggy yeast puss and stir until that becomes hard work.
Then get your hands in and start squeezing it about.
If you have followed the directions then your result will be a bit dry. So
add a dessert spoon of water and fold it about again.
If it is too wet then add a dessert spoon of flour and do the same.
When it looks just like mine....
Sprinkle some flour on a surface and place the dough on top of it. Sprinkle
some flour on top of the dough and then, with the heels of your palms, and
some pressure, spread it out into a long thing. Then fold it in half and do
it again. And do that some more times until you are bored.
Then squash it back into a ball. Sprinkle some flour in the bottom of your
Wok and stick the dough back in it. Put the lid on it and place in a warm
place for two hours.
Don't bother about it getting twice as big or other rubbish. The yeast is
probably dead by now and you're going to 'knock the dough back' anyway.
This time is provided for a continuation of drinking/spliff time without
cooking interuptions.
Next installment in one and a half hours.
DNA
