dear god why cant i understand diodes

[ehsjr]

Okay. This should be simple.

Should be simple - why? (I feel your pain!) Would that it were so.
Ed

 

[Frithiof Andreas Jensen]

Okay. This should be simple. I have been designing circuits for years
sure!

I want to be able to predict the diode current for all
kinds of values of resistors, not just values which result in a diode
forward voltage in the vicinity of the knee.

"I Want" will get you nothing - If this is school work, then spare the sob
story and ask the question - or Google/Wiki for "load line".

If you "need" to be able to do this for work, then you are in for some
"quality time" i.e. redesigning.

Please help me!

No ;-)