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Speaking of fallacies

Discussion in 'Electronic Design' started by Genome, Nov 3, 2006.

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  1. Genome

    Genome Guest

    Q: How much is your house worth?
    A: As much as you can get for it.

    Q: How much can you get for it?
    A: As much as someone is prepared to pay for it.

    Q: How much can they pay for it?
    A: As much as someone will lend them.

    Q: How much will they lend?
    A: We have various products to suit our clients.

    Q: Pardon?
    A: We are regulated by the appropriate authorities.

    Q: What happens when it goes tits up?
    A: Your house is at risk if......

    Q: No, what happens when it really goes tits up?
    A: The government bales us out

    Q: And?
    A: What?

    Q: And....?
    A: Oh, we make more money.

    Q: How?
    A: You really don't understand economics do you.

    Look, it's quite simple. A house is really worth £7500 but lending someone
    £7500 over a period of X years at a general amortized rate of Z adjusted for
    Q with the N of the P on the original amount over the period of the loan and
    factoring in other factors only generates.... err, it's a hard sum. However
    it works out that things are not viable if the house is only worth £7,500.
    Once we have factored in all the factorizables the house has to be worth
    £250,000 for things to work. So now we are in a position to lend someone
    £400,000 for a house that was worth £7,500 and that has to be its true
    value, £400,000 that is. It simply doesn't make sense otherwise. Quite
    simple if you care to think about it. Do you like my new suit?


    DNA
     
  2. Boris Mohar

    Boris Mohar Guest

    So something that is priceless must be worthless.
     
  3. Ian

    Ian Guest

    Of course, with the rise in house prices the local authorities want
    a piece of the action, so there are widespread proposals to re-rate
    all properties so that swingeing rises in taxation can be imposed.

    Regards
    Ian
     
  4. Genome

    Genome Guest

    That sort of stuff happens because stupid people are in charge.

    What should happen is that mortgage loans have a 10% surcharge added for
    insurance against hikes in council (poll) tax rises with the repayment
    period extended to recover 485% (variable) of the initial costs.

    The buyer is covered for the first 5 years for any yearly increase over 30%
    of the average calculated on the basis of yearly increases in the previous
    last 220 years for the most favourable year to exclude increases that may
    result from improvements to the house or surrounding area.

    2.2% money from the surcharge is lent to the council at a floating base rate
    of plus an eighth with repayment over 250 years. The council buys a tree,
    burns it, and keeps the rest for administration with the option of providing
    an extra wheely bin.

    The lender keeps 99.8% for administration and an insurance company is
    invented to retain the remaining 18.6% and send out silly final demand
    letters.

    Excellent

    DNA

    PS, when Maggie introduced the council tax it used up all my first ever wage
    rise. I'm not one to complain but I paid £620 for the year..... as did the
    other three people who were living in the same house as me.

    Can I claim some of it back off the bitch or will she do the honourable
    thing and die in immense pain?
     
  5. JeffM

    JeffM Guest

    Does anyone else find it particularly telling
    when a company which offers only *services*
    calls their various offerings **products**?
    They build a stairway using blocks of straw
    to get you out of the hole you're in
    rather than use a bucket to remove water from the sinking boat?
     
  6. Genome

    Genome Guest

    So, you want the really vicious shits out on the street begging for the
    price of a bottle of cider?
    No, no no... You get yourself a Home Owner Loan.....

    FFS

    DNA
     
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