Maker Pro
Maker Pro

OT: Customer Service Horror Stories

M

Mark Jones

Jan 1, 1970
0
Share 'em. Here's one from 2003 when I was an internet support rep for a major
US internet service provider.

Me: "Thank you for calling _______, my name is..."
User: "Fix my e-mail!"
Me: "Yessir, may I have your account num..."
User: "No, just fix my mail!"
Me: "Well... sir... to do that, I need to bring up your account..."
User: "You have all my account info right there, why do all you people think I
was born yesterday!"
Me: (sighing) "I don't sir, but to bring up your account I am required to verify..."
User: "I don't care what you are required to do, just fix my mail! Call whoever
you have to call, do whatever you have to do, just fix it! Before I go insane!"
Me: <pause>
Me: "What seems to be the problem sir?"
User: "The government has turned off my e-mail again and this is going to stop NOW!"
Me: "I'm sorry, did you say the government..."
User: "Don't mock me, dolt! Just like the last guy. Read my account notes!"
Me: "Excuse me? Look pal, I'm trying to help you here. One more insult like
that and I WILL terminate this call. Now do you want help or not?"
User: "Do I have a choice? Fine. As I've already explained in the last seventeen
million calls," (looking at his account history there is a long list of rude
calls, all escalated to supervisors), "The government has turned off my e-mail
yet again. I can't send or receive anything, it's so goddamn frustrating!
Eschelon-this, cypher-that! Why do they keep meddling in my MY private business!
All I want to do is send an email to my family..." (guy almost starts sobbing)
Me: "Well I can definately understand your dilemma... and we should be able to
fix this. Can we start some troubleshoot..."
User: "Oh no you don't! I'm not spending four more hours on the phone when the
problem isn't me! You're gonna have to call Washington, I'm telling you its the
gov... nevermind, just give me your supervisor!"

;)


-- "Why do computer math geeks confuse Halloween with Christmas? OCT31 = DEC25."
Jim at RSTengineering
 
J

Jim Thompson

Jan 1, 1970
0
Share 'em. Here's one from 2003 when I was an internet support rep for a major
US internet service provider.

Me: "Thank you for calling _______, my name is..."
User: "Fix my e-mail!"
Me: "Yessir, may I have your account num..."
User: "No, just fix my mail!" [snip]
User: "Oh no you don't! I'm not spending four more hours on the phone when the
problem isn't me! You're gonna have to call Washington, I'm telling you its the
gov... nevermind, just give me your supervisor!"

;)


-- "Why do computer math geeks confuse Halloween with Christmas? OCT31 = DEC25."
Jim at RSTengineering

For every kooky customer call I can give you ten where the "support"
person was utterly clueless.

For example, on at least two occasions, cox.net has lost their western
region DNS server COMPLETELY, and wouldn't do anything about it until
the next scheduled back-up restoration, days away.

When I complained, they started thru their standard bull-shit that it
must be my machine, and did I re-boot before I called.

Likewise they've had mail servers down for hours, yet claim they have
no system problems.

That's why I think ISPs should be regulated like all other utilities,
and should have to rebate charges when they fail to provide normal
service.

...Jim Thompson
 
A

Active8

Jan 1, 1970
0
Share 'em. Here's one from 2003 when I was an internet support rep for a major
US internet service provider.

Me: "Thank you for calling _______, my name is..."
User: "Fix my e-mail!"
Me: "Yessir, may I have your account num..."
User: "No, just fix my mail!" [snip]
User: "Oh no you don't! I'm not spending four more hours on the phone when the
problem isn't me! You're gonna have to call Washington, I'm telling you its the
gov... nevermind, just give me your supervisor!"

;)


-- "Why do computer math geeks confuse Halloween with Christmas? OCT31 = DEC25."
Jim at RSTengineering

For every kooky customer call I can give you ten where the "support"
person was utterly clueless.

For example, on at least two occasions, cox.net has lost their western
region DNS server COMPLETELY, and wouldn't do anything about it until
the next scheduled back-up restoration, days away.

When I complained, they started thru their standard bull-shit that it
must be my machine, and did I re-boot before I called.

Likewise they've had mail servers down for hours, yet claim they have
no system problems.

That's why I think ISPs should be regulated like all other utilities,
and should have to rebate charges when they fail to provide normal
service.
IIRC, SBC has dns.indianapolis.com or .net. You can pop some domain
names into whois at samspade.org and find a DNS that works when your
normal one is down. Just put it in your network TCP/IP settings
 
A

Active8

Jan 1, 1970
0
Share 'em. Here's one from 2003 when I was an internet support rep for a major
US internet service provider.

Me: "Thank you for calling _______, my name is..."
User: "Fix my e-mail!"
Me: "Yessir, may I have your account num..."
User: "No, just fix my mail!" [snip]
User: "Oh no you don't! I'm not spending four more hours on the phone when the
problem isn't me! You're gonna have to call Washington, I'm telling you its the
gov... nevermind, just give me your supervisor!"

;)


-- "Why do computer math geeks confuse Halloween with Christmas? OCT31 = DEC25."
Jim at RSTengineering

For every kooky customer call I can give you ten where the "support"
person was utterly clueless.

For example, on at least two occasions, cox.net has lost their western
region DNS server COMPLETELY, and wouldn't do anything about it until
the next scheduled back-up restoration, days away.

When I complained, they started thru their standard bull-shit that it
must be my machine, and did I re-boot before I called.

Likewise they've had mail servers down for hours, yet claim they have
no system problems.

That's why I think ISPs should be regulated like all other utilities,
and should have to rebate charges when they fail to provide normal
service.
Yeah. Read your contrct. It's not guaranteed that you can even
connect let alone expect a certain transfer rate.
 
J

Jim Thompson

Jan 1, 1970
0
On Sat, 05 Mar 2005 11:07:04 -0700, Jim Thompson wrote:
[snip]
For example, on at least two occasions, cox.net has lost their western
region DNS server COMPLETELY, and wouldn't do anything about it until
the next scheduled back-up restoration, days away.

When I complained, they started thru their standard bull-shit that it
must be my machine, and did I re-boot before I called.

Likewise they've had mail servers down for hours, yet claim they have
no system problems.

That's why I think ISPs should be regulated like all other utilities,
and should have to rebate charges when they fail to provide normal
service.
IIRC, SBC has dns.indianapolis.com or .net. You can pop some domain
names into whois at samspade.org and find a DNS that works when your
normal one is down. Just put it in your network TCP/IP settings

But how do I send E-mail via the crap ISP, when its server thinks the
address doesn't exist?

...Jim Thompson
 
A

Active8

Jan 1, 1970
0
Share 'em. Here's one from 2003 when I was an internet support rep for a major
US internet service provider.

Auto parts counter droids are often idiots.

I had a guy tell me the gov't was watching, too :)

My favorite was after 3 weeks of DSL training when I was
side-jacking ( :) ) with this great looking AmerIndian babe, handle
"shy_fox". US Prime, Grade A, stamped "Guaranteed".

Cust: "Yes, I can't log onto the internet."

shy_fox: "Ok, maam, what's your user name?"

Cust: "Candy S."

It was an ebonics chick and it sounded like "candy-ass". So after a
few attempts.

shy_fox: "Maam, I can't get your account to come up. You should've
been able to connect when you did the online registration and this
tech support number is only for people who have connected at least
once. Otherwise you need to call self-installation support. Were you
able to connect when you registered?"

That's always a good blow off to keep the call times down. Setting
up e-mail and such kills the call times.

Cust: "I guess. My boyfrien' did all dat."

Me: [quick note to shy_fox] "Try candyass."

And there she was. Her boyfriend registered her as "candyass". Boy
was she pissed off.

I took a while for shy_fox and I to get it together enough to take
another call.
-- "Why do computer math geeks confuse Halloween with Christmas? OCT31 = DEC25."
Jim at RSTengineering

I didn't know they did.

We normally didn't get customers into the registry, but one guy
seemed smart enough to handle it. He swore neither he nor his wife
ever visited a porn site, but some site set his registry to always
use a porn site for a home page ( changing it in IE didn't help) and
a registry search on the URL, got it cleaned up.

At that time, Ameritech (soon to be SBC) was giving people Compaqs
and DSL for $30 a month, so every bonehead on welfare in Chicago was
getting a computer and bugging the hell out of us. Late at night,
you'd get the wackos. Some old black dude called in.

Toby: "When I open IE it goes to a porn site and I get a box that
pops up. It says, 'Logon to Free Sex Now.' And there's an ok
button."

Me: [LOL] "Just 'cause that sex is free, doesn't mean it's safe."

Toby: "So I've found out."

I wasn't about to mess with that one. The Compaqs came with a
recovery disk so I referred him to Compaq tech support.
 
R

Rene Tschaggelar

Jan 1, 1970
0
Jim said:
On Sat, 05 Mar 2005 11:07:04 -0700, Jim Thompson wrote:

[snip]
For example, on at least two occasions, cox.net has lost their western
region DNS server COMPLETELY, and wouldn't do anything about it until
the next scheduled back-up restoration, days away.

When I complained, they started thru their standard bull-shit that it
must be my machine, and did I re-boot before I called.

Likewise they've had mail servers down for hours, yet claim they have
no system problems.

That's why I think ISPs should be regulated like all other utilities,
and should have to rebate charges when they fail to provide normal
service.

IIRC, SBC has dns.indianapolis.com or .net. You can pop some domain
names into whois at samspade.org and find a DNS that works when your
normal one is down. Just put it in your network TCP/IP settings


But how do I send E-mail via the crap ISP, when its server thinks the
address doesn't exist?

Jim,
you need a second account, such as gmx, yahoo, whatever.
Then another DNS and youre done.

Rene
 
A

Active8

Jan 1, 1970
0
But how do I send E-mail via the crap ISP, when its server thinks the
address doesn't exist?
You don't. Try mollymail or whatever web-based e-mail you can find
that's not associated with those cheap-assed low-contractor-paying
Coxuckers. If it goes through you've got your guns loaded for bear,
not that that'll get you anywhere with Cox. An old partner of mine
and some other country boys suggest a 12 gauge shotgun and a dish.
Aim at the hardline. Maybe a rifle for the amps and LEs. Feed a
contractor.

I remember a woman in Chicago that kept getting bounces on mails to
a client in FL. It turned out that her client's ISP would not accept
mail from a non-secure server. Ameritech had such a POS server.
 
J

Jonathan Kirwan

Jan 1, 1970
0
Share 'em. Here's one from 2003 when I was an internet support rep for a major
US internet service provider.

In 1984, I was the Director of Technology for a small firm (28 employees) and
managed a small staff of programmers. However, I set aside 2 hours of time, on
every other day, to handle screened technical calls our support staff couldn't
fathom or handle well. I got this one (reduced for brevity) from a lady:

HER: "I can't get the program to work."
ME: "What's not working?"
HER: "Nothing. It just won't work for me."
ME: "Can you describe the problem?"
HER: "Well, it just doesn't work. Nothing happens."
ME: "What screen are you looking at? What does the screen show you?"
HER: "What do you mean?"
ME: "Well, on the screen... what words can you see there?"
HER: "I don't know."
ME: "Do you see any words you can tell me about?"
HER: "Well, the program's not working. There's nothing."
ME: <getting the point, finally>
"Is the computer on?"
HER: "On? How do I tell?"
ME: "Do you see, on your right side towards the back.. a BIG RED switch?"
HER: "Hmm... Yes, there is one there."
ME: "Would you try and flip it to the other position for me?"
HER: "Oh! It's working!! Something is happening!"
....

Sometimes, I have wondered how this person ever managed to feed herself.

Jon
 
A

Active8

Jan 1, 1970
0
ME: "Would you try and flip it to the other position for me?"
HER: "Oh! It's working!! Something is happening!"
...

Sometimes, I have wondered how this person ever managed to feed herself.

I asked a woman to right click on the desktop and she started
tapping her pen[cil] on the work surface.
 
R

RST Engineering \(jw\)

Jan 1, 1970
0
You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO
understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\

Jim
 
C

Clarence_A

Jan 1, 1970
0
RST Engineering (jw) said:
You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO
understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\

Jim


They ARE about as bad as the TOP POSTERS aren't they?
 
R

Robert Baer

Jan 1, 1970
0
Jim said:
Share 'em. Here's one from 2003 when I was an internet support rep for a major
US internet service provider.

Me: "Thank you for calling _______, my name is..."
User: "Fix my e-mail!"
Me: "Yessir, may I have your account num..."
User: "No, just fix my mail!"
[snip]

User: "Oh no you don't! I'm not spending four more hours on the phone when the
problem isn't me! You're gonna have to call Washington, I'm telling you its the
gov... nevermind, just give me your supervisor!"

;)


-- "Why do computer math geeks confuse Halloween with Christmas? OCT31 = DEC25."
Jim at RSTengineering


For every kooky customer call I can give you ten where the "support"
person was utterly clueless.

For example, on at least two occasions, cox.net has lost their western
region DNS server COMPLETELY, and wouldn't do anything about it until
the next scheduled back-up restoration, days away.

When I complained, they started thru their standard bull-shit that it
must be my machine, and did I re-boot before I called.

Likewise they've had mail servers down for hours, yet claim they have
no system problems.

That's why I think ISPs should be regulated like all other utilities,
and should have to rebate charges when they fail to provide normal
service.

...Jim Thompson
....AND the rebates must by law come out of the pocket of the CEO!
 
R

Robert Baer

Jan 1, 1970
0
RST said:
You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO
understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\

Jim
Cut some slack; there are at least a few of us that are not stupid
and are intrested...
 
N

Nico Coesel

Jan 1, 1970
0
Jim Thompson said:
Share 'em. Here's one from 2003 when I was an internet support rep for a major
US internet service provider.

Me: "Thank you for calling _______, my name is..."
User: "Fix my e-mail!"
Me: "Yessir, may I have your account num..."
User: "No, just fix my mail!" [snip]
User: "Oh no you don't! I'm not spending four more hours on the phone when the
problem isn't me! You're gonna have to call Washington, I'm telling you its the
gov... nevermind, just give me your supervisor!"

;)


-- "Why do computer math geeks confuse Halloween with Christmas? OCT31 = DEC25."
Jim at RSTengineering

For every kooky customer call I can give you ten where the "support"
person was utterly clueless.

For example, on at least two occasions, cox.net has lost their western
region DNS server COMPLETELY, and wouldn't do anything about it until
the next scheduled back-up restoration, days away.

I know what you mean. I had to make similar calls last week to Dell.
I'm the one to convince Dell their GX280's PCI bus isn't according to
the PCI startup timing specifications. I wonder how long it will take
me to get them to fix it.... I tried to leave it alone so one of my
collegues would make the call, but no such luck.
 
K

keith

Jan 1, 1970
0
Jim said:
Share 'em. Here's one from 2003 when I was an internet support rep for a major
US internet service provider.

Me: "Thank you for calling _______, my name is..."
User: "Fix my e-mail!"
Me: "Yessir, may I have your account num..."
User: "No, just fix my mail!"
[snip]

User: "Oh no you don't! I'm not spending four more hours on the phone when the
problem isn't me! You're gonna have to call Washington, I'm telling you its the
gov... nevermind, just give me your supervisor!"

;)


-- "Why do computer math geeks confuse Halloween with Christmas? OCT31 = DEC25."
Jim at RSTengineering


For every kooky customer call I can give you ten where the "support"
person was utterly clueless.

For example, on at least two occasions, cox.net has lost their western
region DNS server COMPLETELY, and wouldn't do anything about it until
the next scheduled back-up restoration, days away.

When I complained, they started thru their standard bull-shit that it
must be my machine, and did I re-boot before I called.

Likewise they've had mail servers down for hours, yet claim they have
no system problems.

That's why I think ISPs should be regulated like all other utilities,
and should have to rebate charges when they fail to provide normal
service.

...Jim Thompson
...AND the rebates must by law come out of the pocket of the CEO!

You want to give them even less of an incentive to pay?
 
A

Active8

Jan 1, 1970
0
On Sat, 05 Mar 2005 11:07:04 -0700, Jim Thompson wrote:
That's why I think ISPs should be regulated like all other utilities,
and should have to rebate charges when they fail to provide normal
service.

I wouldn't be surprised if that started enough class-action suits to
wreck the infrastructure. Then the gov't would have to get their
noses into it further. That's scary thought #2 for the day.

Shhh ;)

And sorry, I misspoke. Molly Mail gets you into your ISP mail from
"anywhere in the world." I guess not all ISPs have webmail.

http://www.mollymail.com/webmail/

I like google's gmail for an alternate. You get free storage space,
too, FWIW.
 
C

Carl D. Smith

Jan 1, 1970
0
You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO
understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\

I read it.
 
M

m II

Jan 1, 1970
0
RST said:
You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO
understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\


Not deleting unneeded portions of a post is in bad form, regardless. Top
posting, however, as acknowledged by nine out ten major religions, is the work
of the Devil.



Because it makes a response hard to read




mike
 
M

Mark Jones

Jan 1, 1970
0
Rene said:
Jim said:
On Sat, 05 Mar 2005 11:07:04 -0700, Jim Thompson wrote:

[snip]

For example, on at least two occasions, cox.net has lost their western
region DNS server COMPLETELY, and wouldn't do anything about it until
the next scheduled back-up restoration, days away.

When I complained, they started thru their standard bull-shit that it
must be my machine, and did I re-boot before I called.

Likewise they've had mail servers down for hours, yet claim they have
no system problems.

That's why I think ISPs should be regulated like all other utilities,
and should have to rebate charges when they fail to provide normal
service.


IIRC, SBC has dns.indianapolis.com or .net. You can pop some domain
names into whois at samspade.org and find a DNS that works when your
normal one is down. Just put it in your network TCP/IP settings



But how do I send E-mail via the crap ISP, when its server thinks the
address doesn't exist?


Jim,
you need a second account, such as gmx, yahoo, whatever.
Then another DNS and youre done.

Rene


Jim, I could give you an invite to www.gmail.com - very nice free webmail with
POP3 capability.
 
Top