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Murphy's System

G

George Ghio

Jan 1, 1970
0
The Man With No Ears
George L Ghio
2003

Sometimes out of the dark of a moonless and stormy night comes a tale
of woe and misery so horrible you just have to sit down and laugh. This
is such a story.

It all started some time go when I was approached to do some solar power
work for a fellow we shall call Murphy. Now Murphy came to me to buy a
solar panel but thought that my price was too expensive so he proceeded
to order one from Western Australia which was cheaper. Of course he also
paid freight from the West coast to the East coast and then had to pay
someone to set it up for him so as you can imagine the savings he made on
the purchase did in fact cost him a fair bit more than he would have
spent buying locally. At this point in time one could say that a lesson
was learnt and Murphy could move on to bigger and better things.

As time goes by Murphy looks to some creature comforts for his shed and
requests that I should do some wiring for him as well as wire up a second
hand twelve volt TV and a CD player and some lighting as well and of
course it should be done as cheaply as possible.

I think that at this point we should look at the ¹system¹ that is to
supply this lavish lifestyle that Murphy would like to grow accustomed
to. The system consists of One - eighty watt panel, two - 200 Amp hour
12 V batteries in parallel for total of 400 Amp hours and a small
regulator that will just handle the output of the single panel. It must
be pointed out that this ¹system¹ is totally bereft any design at all.
In fact when the subject of design came up in relation as to what Murphy
wanted for the future it was discovered that Murphy had no ears and
because of this a iction hears nothing that he is told. It may seem that
Murphy is a bit short on the concept of ¹System Design¹ but it would be
closer to the truth to say that the concept of design is not even on the
horizon for Murphy and may even have jumped off the edge of the earth
in an effort to avoid embarrassment.

Anyway I set up some lighting and entertainment for Murphy and he
dreamed of building his house.

Murphy wants another panel and this is fine by me. The trouble is
Murphy wants to get it for free. Well as it happens I was able to offer
Murphy some factory seconds and he reluctantly purchased two grumbling
about the cost and how he can¹t afford this kind of expense. He also got
a good price on another panel that was shipped incorrectly with another
order. One would have to say that saving around twenty five per cent
would not be a bad thing, of course as you will appreciate Murphy will
need a new regulator to be able to use the new panels with his ¹system¹.

At this point I will ask you to dig out of your memory the part of this
tale where it was discovered that Murphy has no ears. This is an
important point as Murphy made a trip to the big smoke and bought a new
regulator. Got a good deal on the price too. Unfortunatly the regulator
in question was unsuitable for the for the sealed gell batteries Murphy
has in his ¹system¹ He was told but having no ears could not listen and
in the end returned the bargain regulator and bought one that could be
used with his batteries and in the process spent around twenty five
dollars more than the recommended retail for the new regulator.

Now as Murphy has no ears he missed the discussion about house design
as well so the house is oriented exactly ninety degrees wrong. Oh well,
its
done and nothing short of a very obliging shift in the Earths crust is
going to change it.

As the house was being built there was a time when it was at the frame
stage, this is to say that it was just a bare frame with a roof. It is
this stage that most people find to be the best possible time to run
their wiring for power and lights. The best thing is to sit down with
your house plans and mark out where you want to have the light fixtures
and the positions for power points and other things like the TV aerial,
phone and any other things you might need. The next step is to discuss
your needs with the person doing the wiring. The third step is to get
your installer to install the said wiring and then the house is ready
for the plaster or other interior wall lining.

Phone rings and I answer it, ¹Hi, its Murphy here, look the plasterer is
here you better come around and put the wiring in where you want it¹.
Well honestly, what can I tell you? Where I want it? Is this fair? Do I
deserve this? Where can I hide? Aaarrrrgggggg!

Load up the ute and set off to my fate. When I arrive at Murphys half
the plaster is up and I have to scramble to get in some of the basic
wiring runs. When Murphy is asked where he wants the lights and power
points he really doesn¹t know. So starts the quiz. What do you want to
run and where do you want it to sit? In the end one light in each
bedroom, one power point in one bedroom and two power points in the
other. One light each in the lounge, kitchen, bath, toilet and hallway
and four power points in the lounge.

When I did the main wire run for the lights I included two sets of links
at around one third of the distance from each end of the house to connect
the individual light circuits to and allow for easy expansion in the
future. I also requested of the builder that removable panels be left in
the pine lining for access to these links. I guess that Murphy felt that
this was an extravagance that was not required because there is no
access and Murphy is now asking for more lights and power points. Am I
having fun yet? If you can¹t find me I¹m under the bed and I¹m not
coming out until the sun is up and Murphy is gone.

Another part of Murphys system is the tower which is where the solar
panels and the header tank lives on the top and at the bottom of this
tower is the battery room and control gear for the solar power. Murphy
was given a plan for this tower. The plan called for the tower to built
from RHS and angle iron. This kind of construction is a breeze to
assemble and can be completed in a day or so and has the advantage that
it can be enclosed very
easily with a number of types of material. It is strong and light weight.
Murphy asked me to build his tower. He told me that he had the material
to build the tower and will bring it to my place. So tell me does this
strike terror to the core of your being? Does the night seem a bit
darker and the storm a bit stormyer?

Murphy arrives with a ute load of what can best be described as a scrap
yard junkies fix of a life time. Part of this hoard is three (count them
1... 2... 3...) six meter pieces of rather heavy pipe out of which I am
to make the four legs of the tower and the quality of the rest of the
materials is best not described. Now the idea of a tower which is to
hold a header tank is thatthe tower should be high enough to provide an
amount of water pressure, right?

Guess again.

After I cut one and a half meters off each six meter pipe I had enough
material to make a four and a half meter tower. When you take into
account that the tower is positioned at the end of the house which is at
the very least five hundred mm off the ground at floor level you get
around four meters of head. Well to cut a long story short the
construction of this tower took around thirty six hours to assemble and
used up a whole packet of welding rods and twenty liters of fuel. If it
seems that I am glossing over the actual building of the tower it is
because I will need several months of intense counseling before I can
face those memories again.

And the punch line is, An eight meter tower made from all new
materials would have cost as much as 1/3 less to make and been
finished in less than two days. Nuff said.

Murphy has been over seas and come back with more electrical goodies
and wants power points for them as well. Also on the agenda is a power
point for the reading lamp next to Murphy¹s chair which Murphy did not
know he wanted until he discovered that the light in the ceiling was not
bright enough to read by. As fate would have it I had a discussion with
Murphy about the placement of lights and their relation to work spaces at
the time I was trying to find out where he wanted light fittings, alas
Murphy has no ears.

Project: Provide a power point for reading lamp.

What we have is a corner with a large wooden post (150 x75 mm) and a
door frame. Over the door frame are the two links that feed this end of
thehouse. One is Positive the other is Negative for the twelve volt
power.

Step 1: Remove three lengths of T&G pine lining and part of the door
frame to gain access to the links.

Step 2: Drill and chisel a hole in the timber post to fit the ELV two pin
socket.

Step 3: Chisel out the edge of the plaster board behind the post to
provide rebate to run wire from links to power outlet.

Step 4: No I did not put it all back. The builder will have to do that as
well as leave the required access for future use.

This power point could have been provided for during the framing with
the correct hole in the pine lining with the result that I could have
installed the power point in about ten minutes instead of the ninety it
took. Been back to Murphys to finish off some of the lighting that I did
not have the parts for until this week. Noticed that the T&G lining and
the door frame have been replaced, without I might add the access to the
links required. Its the ears you see, Murphy does not have any. Poor sod.

Phone rings, against my better judgment I pick it up.

¹Murphy here. My batteries don¹t seem to be charging. What¹s wrong with
them?¹

¹I don¹t know Murphy, what does the Regulator tell you.¹

¹Well the battery volts is 12.4 and the charge is 0 amps.¹

¹Turn the panels back on Murphy.¹

¹How do you turn the panels on?¹

¹Open the control box and turn on the circuit breaker on the left hand
side.¹

¹Why wasn¹t I told this?¹

¹You didn¹t ask.¹

The immediate problem: Frosty cold morning, Clear sky, Bright Sun,
Sixteen Amp circuit breaker, Four - Eighty watt panels, Twenty Amps
charge.

Solution: Replace circuit breaker with larger circuit breaker.

The real problem is of course that while Murphy has opted to be
responsible for the supply of his energy requirements by using a
renewable energy source Murphy has no ears and has not learned a single
thing about his energy supply. Murphy has never done an Energy Audit.
Murphy has never given any thought to design. Murphy thinks that any
information you get form someone in the pub will always be correct.
Murphy thinks that being responsible for his own energy supply means
keeping my phone number handy.

Murphy tells me he wants a wind generator.

I¹m thinking of changing my phone number.

All good stories have a moral right, so here it is.

Design and Planning, Get them right and you will save time, money and
agro.
 
You had enough patience to withstand this without choking him? Or, did
you just keep increasing the price in relation to your blood pressure
increase?
Offgridman
 
G

George Ghio

Jan 1, 1970
0
Johnson442 said:
Perhaps a solar-powered answering machine?

Bro. Timothy

Got one, but it is a bugger getting 3 hour tapes.

George
 
S

Steve Spence

Jan 1, 1970
0
tapes? go digital my friend. memory is cheap and the power consumption is
less than motors.
 
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