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Merry Christmas

Discussion in 'General Electronics Discussion' started by tedstruk, Dec 25, 2016.

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  1. tedstruk

    tedstruk

    475
    7
    Jan 7, 2012
    There once was a fat santa clause who couldn't get his Harley started. So like all great santas, he called his replacement. "It just won't start, he told his replacement" and the replacement said..."did you try and push start it?" he replied no, and jumped on his machine coasting down the frozen roadway, choosing the highest gear and dumping the clutch. At first the rear tire slid back and forth across the roadway, then slowly the engine started to chug.... reaching the bottom of the hill, the engine was running and aff he went to deliver all the toys. At his first stop, he remembered to kill the engine before letting out the clutch. and realizing his mistake, he spent plenty of time at the first stop telling stories and handing out gifts so his cold fingers and toes would warm up. He finally got some feeling back, and jumped on his machine to see if it would start. micaulously it fired up and he was off to the next stop. he pulled up, remembered not to kill the engine and delivered the gifts. This went on for some time, and at one of his last stops, he killed the engine again. Not worried, but feeling very freezy, he went into the place and began telling stories, and handing out gifts. Soon he was cornered by one of the women at the place. She asked if he knew where he was. He said yes, and let out a big ho ho ho, with the warmth coming out of his thick red suit. He ssaid his goodbys and returned to his gift delivery. the next few places were quite nice, and he felt a bit out of place but did his good deeds anyway. On the way home he plugged in his ipod and turned the christmas songs up real loud. making the last corner home, he realized he wasn't on the right road. He started getting worried about freezing to death, and started shivering... He found a sign back to the freeway, and figured he could find his way back from there, but no such luck... he had taken a wrong exit and was on the wrong freeway. After about 5 miles, he found an exit with a slew of great businesses, like McDonalds, Wendys, TacoTime and Shell. He pulled in at the Shell, realizing he was almost out of gas. filling the tank in the cold with his teeth jittering he asked a guy if he knew any of the roads around here...
    the guy said, "I just went to a christmas party, got lost and was about to ask you the same thing" and so santa went into convenience the store. the smart thick eyeglassed kid behind the counter looked up and said.."whaddya bring me?" The santa said "put in on the card", and the kid ran the card through the reader. After talking for about 25 minutes, the kid finally got the directions to his home right. The santa thanked the kid, and went back to his bike. It wouldn't start. there was no hill to coast down. He went back in and asked the kid to give him a push. The engine chugged and finally started after about 5 trys.
    Following the instructions the kid had jotted down on the cardboard box, proved excruciating in the snowing weather, but after his nose froze awhile, and his feet went knumb, he found a good exit he knew, and found his way home. The next day there were police in his front yard, and guys in suits with sunglasses. They were all talking at the same time. The chief said" last night some idiot dressed up in a santa suit, broke into 25 residents and forced them to accept any number of gifts, and then the guy shows up at a shell station hold up and tells the theif to put it all on his card. We traced the card to you... Did you know that it's november?"
    Well you can see what happened right? The guy turned the calender page to december instead of november, accidentally grabbing two pages, and then when he started his bike, he was 2 blocks down from jump starting his bike down the hill....
    the kid was a theif, and the next month he got a bill on his credit card for more than the president makes in a year.

    Merry Christmas. Don't get lost, Always double check the calender, and never, ever, trust the guy behind the counter at the Shell station. (the credit companies are very leiniant about mistakes like the one he made so don't worry about it too much)!
     
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