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Meat Balls

Arouse1973

Adam
Dec 18, 2013
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Made some meat balls for tea tonight, very nice. Although the misses said my balls were quite small but nice and tender. Does anyone know a formulla for bigger balls? Am I squeezing them too much? I was thinking RMS root meat squared but not sure. Is it the squeeze ratio to meat quantity. Com on Laplace you must have a formula.

Adam :)
 

BobK

Jan 5, 2010
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The angle of the dangle is equal to the heat of the meat time the mass of the ass?

(I doubt that this thread will live very long)

Bob
 

Electric Al

Jan 16, 2014
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Seeing as we are in the mood for a little levity !

An old one ... Have you heard about The Crying Flea ?


It crawls over your belly and bawls !
 

(*steve*)

¡sǝpodᴉʇuɐ ǝɥʇ ɹɐǝɥd
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Jan 21, 2010
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Cooking something like meatballs follows a similar pattern as diffusion. As such, cooking a large slab of meat (or anything) n times thicker will take n^2 cooking time.

However a sphere is a slightly special case because it is far more like heating one end of a cone than both ends of a regular prism.

This leads to the spherical object cooking faster than a slab, but the relationship is still the same.

However, if you cook the meatball in a frying pan, you are using a temperature high enough to cause a maillard reaction on the outside. If you cook them at this temperature for too long (i.e. to cook a larger meatball) then you will burn the outside.

To cook larger meatballs you need to use a lower temperature for longer, and then finish (or start) with a high temperature to brown the outside.

The ideal method would be to sous vide them (perhaps for a couple of hours -- up to 4 -- at 60C) before frying them to get the nice surface texture and flavour.

The traditional method of cooking the meatballs in a sauce does a similar thing.

So, if you're cooking them in sauce (say for 30 minutes) and you make a meatball twice the diameter, then brown them, and simmer for 2 hours.

See here, and here, and finally here.
 

Laplace

Apr 4, 2010
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It is fortunate that your balls were tender but there is nothing to be done for their size except perhaps for inflation, which can be a rather tender process. Your friend here is one of impression, making the balls look more plump and enticing by serving them with an offset that is limp and stringy. You can achieve good results with fresh string beans cut very short. Avoid the canned variety since the processing tends to increase their girth which is an undesirable side effect for this application. Follow this formula for appearance improvement and these balls can achieve fame far beyond your stature.
 

(*steve*)

¡sǝpodᴉʇuɐ ǝɥʇ ɹɐǝɥd
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Why do I feel I'm the only serious one here? :D
 

jpanhalt

Nov 12, 2013
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Steve,

So you don't get lonely...

Thank you for introducing me to the term, "sous vide." I would have called it pasteurization (60°C for 30 minutes is sufficient). But of course as you point, big balls take longer to get hot.

John
 

BobK

Jan 5, 2010
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Serious? I can do that. 1 pound of ground beef, one medium onion chopped fine and sautéed, 1/3 cup bread crumbs and 1/3 cup of milk. Salt and pepper to taste. Mix the breadcrumbs and milk and allow to thicken. Then mix all the ingredients, and form into balls about 1 inch in diameter. Cook in the over at 350 F for 15 minutes on a broiler pan, so the fat can escape, turn and cook 15 minutes on the other side. I get about 24 meatballs per pound of meat, making them about 3/4 of an ounce each. Simmer with your red sauce (after cooking) for spaghetti and meat balls. Or quick sauté in butter, add cracked pepper and then cream and cognac for meatballs Au Poivre.


Bob
 
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mahone

Dec 21, 2013
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bob, beavis's law is:

"the angle of the dangle is inversely proportionate to the heat of the meat"

It's the first time I've heard that in 20 years :-D
 

gorgon

Jun 6, 2011
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The resulting project from this should be the vacuum system for the food(balls) in question. Preferably with an electronic control system and sealer. In addition to the tightly electronic control of the preset temperature, and time?

:D
 

(*steve*)

¡sǝpodᴉʇuɐ ǝɥʇ ɹɐǝɥd
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I just purchased a vacuum sealer and I happen to be in the middle of calibrating my sous-vide controller :)
 

Arouse1973

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Dec 18, 2013
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Loving it Guys, what a great sense of humour you all have. :)
 

GonzoEngineer

Dec 2, 2011
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When the going gets weird, the weird get going!

And I heard it forty years ago as "Scrotum's Theorem":

The angle of the dangle is directly proportional to the heat of the meat, as long as the mass of the ass remains constant.
 
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