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Junk phone-call handler

Discussion in 'Electronic Repair' started by N Cook, Oct 14, 2004.

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  1. N Cook

    N Cook Guest

    Someone with a small business asked me for advice on
    setting up a tape-loop player for his receptionist to
    divert to when junk callers ring in. Saying "putting you
    on hold" but leaving the caller
    in limbo until he cancels - but make him
    as uncomfortable as possible while hanging on.

    1) My idea is to cut a small flat on the pinch wheel
    and replace the capstan drive band with a longer
    and thinner band.

    2) What choice of music would be most annoying
    to the age-group of junk callers ?

    electronic hints and repair briefs , schematics/manuals list on
    http://homepages.tcp.co.uk/~diverse
     
  2. Graham

    Graham Guest

    I might have opted for such a mechanical solution 20 years ago.

    Haven't you got an old PC with a sound card?

    Graham.
     
  3. sPoNiX

    sPoNiX Guest

    Probably less to go wrong with a tape deck!
     
  4. sPoNiX

    sPoNiX Guest

    If the deck has a speed adjustment pot I'd also slow the thing down
    slightly, to give a "batteries going flat" feel to the music.
    Either some sort of rave music or someone along the lines of Des
    O'Connor..

    sPoNiX
     

  5. I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    etc etc
     
  6. 2) What choice of music would be most annoying

    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
    Life in plastic, it's fantastic
    etc etc
     
  7. Stan

    Stan Guest

    }Someone with a small business asked me for advice on
    }setting up a tape-loop player for his receptionist to
    }divert to when junk callers ring in. Saying "putting you
    }on hold" but leaving the caller
    }in limbo until he cancels - but make him
    }as uncomfortable as possible while hanging on.
    }
    }1) My idea is to cut a small flat on the pinch wheel
    }and replace the capstan drive band with a longer
    }and thinner band.

    Why not use a cheap cd player and burn your own obnoxius cd?

    }2) What choice of music would be most annoying
    }to the age-group of junk callers ?

    Anything by Yoko Ono? OTOH, for something truly annoying, might
    I recommend what a local comedian came up with: Van Halen's "Eruption",
    performed on bagpipes.

    Stan.
     
  8. Jerry G.

    Jerry G. Guest

    I would never go to all that trouble. When they start their jargon type
    introduction, the very first question I ask is, "What are you trying to
    sell me?". This gets them on the edge. Then the person starts rambling
    on some "you-no-what" at me, and I let them go on for a bit. Then I tell
    them that I am not really interested, and I think they should get a
    better job. I then hang up the phone.

    What is annoying, is that they always call at the most inconvenient
    hours. It is usually when the family is sitting down for supper. I
    sometimes tell them that I am eating my supper, and they should call
    back in about an hour. When I see it is the same caller showing on my
    caller ID box, I simply pick up the phone and tell them that I am not
    interested, then I abruptly hang up.

    Usually this type of behaviour keeps them at bay.

    --

    Jerry G.
    ======

    Someone with a small business asked me for advice on
    setting up a tape-loop player for his receptionist to
    divert to when junk callers ring in. Saying "putting you
    on hold" but leaving the caller
    in limbo until he cancels - but make him
    as uncomfortable as possible while hanging on.

    1) My idea is to cut a small flat on the pinch wheel
    and replace the capstan drive band with a longer
    and thinner band.

    2) What choice of music would be most annoying
    to the age-group of junk callers ?

    electronic hints and repair briefs , schematics/manuals list on
    http://homepages.tcp.co.uk/~diverse
     
  9. mike

    mike Guest

    Sanity Check.
    How many times have you been called by the SAME person?
    Annoying someone who won't be calling you again doesn't help you at all.
    Accidentally annoying a real customer can hurt you.
    Put your thinking resources into something that has a return
    on investment.
    mike
     
  10. NSM

    NSM Guest

    | Someone with a small business asked me for advice on
    | setting up a tape-loop player for his receptionist to
    | divert to when junk callers ring in. Saying "putting you
    | on hold" but leaving the caller
    | in limbo until he cancels - but make him
    | as uncomfortable as possible while hanging on.

    In the USA you can buy a $10 gadget to attach to the phone. You push a
    button and hang up and the device says, "I'm sorry, this number does not
    accept that type of call. Please accept this as your notice to put this
    number on your 'do not call' list". Then it repeats the message and hangs
    up. I have one on each phone and they work quite well.

    However for your purposes, use a cheap CD player and record a long message
    along the lines of, "Have you been saved? I say again, brothers and sisters,
    have you been saved? Have you accepted Jesus as your personal saviour?" I'm
    sure you must be able to find this somewhere on radio - or the net!

    N
     
  11. James Sweet

    James Sweet Guest


    Just get a continuous loop tape for an old answering machine, they still
    sell them, 60 seconds is a common size and they'll hang up before then
    anyway. Load it up with opera music or something.
     
  12. none

    none Guest

    NAH! Lets have some fun.
    Get a copy of that old tune by Cheech and Chong "Earache my Eye" and
    put that on the loop. also run the gain up during record until it
    really distorts.
    That'll get rid of them. And of course if you have call back option on
    your phone you can always ring 'em back and pick up where it left off
    during their hang up.
    THAT should get you removed from their list altogether.
     
  13. NSM

    NSM Guest

    | NAH! Lets have some fun.
    | Get a copy of that old tune by Cheech and Chong "Earache my Eye" and
    | put that on the loop. also run the gain up during record until it
    | really distorts.

    "They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha Ha", from Napoleon XIV.

    ....
    and
    they're coming to take me away ha ha
    they're coming to take me away ho ho hee hee ha ha
    to the funny farm
    where life is beautiful all the time
    and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats
    and they're coming to take me away ha ha
    to the happy home
    with trees and flowers and chirping birds
    and basketweavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
    and they're coming to take me away ha haaaaaaa...

    N
     
  14. N Cook

    N Cook Guest

    I like the idea of bagpipe music.
    Perhaps Vivaldi "Four Seasons" on bagpipes with plenty of wow and flutter
    for extra edge.
     
  15. I used to think I was a clever guy by having humorous outgoing messages on
    my answering machine. This was before I grew up a bit.
    Anyway, one of the better ones was to use the actual telco announcement
    that, "we're sorry, but you must first dial a 1 or a 0 ...." and repeated it
    several times before the beep. When the caller then dialed the 1 or 0, they
    would then get the real telco message "we're sorry, but it is not necessary
    to dial a 1 or 0....."

    I was quite proud of myself for that one....

    Mark Z.
     

  16. That's one of the best one's I have heard about!!

    H. R. (Bob) Hofmann
     

  17. That's one of the best ones I have heard about!!

    H. R. (Bob) Hofmann
     

  18. That's one of the best ones I have heard about!!

    H. R. (Bob) Hofmann
     

  19. That's one of the best ones I have heard about!!

    H. R. (Bob) Hofmann
     
  20. N Cook

    N Cook Guest

    The meanest ( fraudulent ) I've heard of is using a continuous tape of the
    ringing tone used on a premium rate line.
     
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