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It never fails

Discussion in 'Security Alarms' started by [email protected], Dec 1, 2007.

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  1. Guest

    I always make sure I send out all the customer Christmas cards out by
    the first of each December.

    Most of the late paying stragglers feel guilty and by the middle of
    the next week their checks are usually in the mailbox.

    Then the January billing goes out Dec 10th and the cycle starts all
    over again. And its allways the usual suspects. I think I'll raise
    their rates again.

    I got the self stick postage stamps ok. But my tongue hurts from
    licking all those envelopes.
    Does anyone know where I can buy an envelope licking machine cheap? My
    dog used to help with the licking. But he got hit by lightning last
    summer and he's pissed off at me ever since for tying him under that
    tree.

    Hey! Maybe if I buy that Hyjet gizmo?



    RW
     
  2. tourman

    tourman Guest

    RHC: Hey three solutions come immediately to mind.....one, go to the
    post office and get yourself one of those postage machines to run all
    your envelopes through the mail. They then charge you only the stamp
    costs you've used. Second, go automatic deduction for your clients and
    you have little or nothing to ever do. Third, get postage stamps with
    a flavour you dog REALLY likes so he can lick 'em and earn his keep....
    (something butt flavoured comes to mind.....)
     
  3. Doug

    Doug Guest

  4. Guest

    You're bullshitting me. You can get them that flavor? If so, **** the
    dog. I'll keep em myself.
     
  5. Guest

  6. Matt Ion

    Matt Ion Guest

    You can even do both at the same time!
     
  7. Guest

    I've tried but he won't hold still.
     
  8. Bob La Londe

    Bob La Londe Guest

  9. tourman

    tourman Guest

    RHC: Hey..now that's kinky !! Whatever turns your crank....:)))
     
  10. Doug

    Doug Guest

    When you consider that dogs seem to spend half their lives sniffing the
    arseholes of other dogs, it would seem the flavour of choice would be
    dogshit, so to describe someone who would lick dogshit flavoured stamps as
    "kinky" just doesn't seem to cut it.

    Doug
    --
     
  11. Matt Ion

    Matt Ion Guest

    Yeah, but someone who would **** the dog at the same time...???
     
  12. Doug

    Doug Guest

    I'll concede that in some circles, that could be considered somewhat kinky

    Doug

    --
     
  13. tourman

    tourman Guest

    RHC: Hahaha...damn, this thread is going downhill in a hurry ! I
    apologize for setting you guys off....I shoulda known better.....:)))
     
  14. Doug

    Doug Guest

    I'm just wondering how long it will be until someone introduces the slang
    definition for "stamp licker" into the thread

    Doug

    --
     
  15. Matt Ion

    Matt Ion Guest

    Would it be synonymous with "dog fucker"?
     
  16. Matt Ion

    Matt Ion Guest

    Tsk tsk, when will you ever learn?
     
  17. I'm just wondering how extraordinary it will be before everybody inagurates the slang
    disease for "stamp lamb" under the programme

    Doug

    --
     
  18. RHC: Hahaha...damn, this incongruity is going downhill in a hurry ! I
    accumulate for setting you stalkers off....I shoulda self-reliant better.....:)))
     
  19. Yeah, but anything which would initiate the biorobot at the same time...???
     
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