Home Project wiring help

I am trying to power a 12 volt linear actuator with a remote control winch switch that I bought and in order for it to work, I need to have a ground available. I'm not sure if I can even use this switch, but I'm thinking maybe it could be done with a relay. The switch has pos and neg wires to feed it. It also has a yellow and a white wire. When wired up, when you push the remote button and ground either wire, you get 12 v power, which reverses polarity.. How do I get the ground that I need to make this work? Can it be done? I had another relay that reversed polarity within the unit, but that one burned out. And it was much more expensive. Any help would be appreciated

 

M. Here is a link to a youtube video of the remote control I bought. Disregard the beginning and skip to approx. 4:16 into the vid where he bench tests the unit. Battery power is applied to the black and red wires. He then pushes each direction on the remote button and when he does that, he grounds the yellow wire or the white one to get 12 volts. Maybe this is not a ground but what you are calling common. Everyone keeps telling me I need a dpdt relay to make it work. I bought a relay on ebay http://www.ebay.com/itm/RELAY-WINCH...ash=item4d2317eef5:g:4hEAAOSwa39UsALQ&vxp=mtr I am using a small 12 volt riding lawnmower battery. I thought I could power the remote control relay with that battery, and then control the dpdt switch with the yellow and white wires from the relay output. I need 12 volt pos/neg and 12 volt neg/pos to reverse the direction of the actuator. This is the best way I can explain what I am trying to do. If these parts can work, a simple diagram of the components I have and how to wire it up would be a big help. Maybe a simple diagram and take a picture of it and post it here. Or maybe it's not possible to make it work at all. I'm not advanced enough to determine that.

 

Thanks for the drawing, but I am not too good at reading wiring schematics. Any way you could make me a drawing depicting my components and which terminals to hook the wires to? If you click on the ebay link to the relay I am trying to use, under the picture of it, there are two small pics. One is an easy to understand wiring diagram. They show using a 3 way toggle switch. My remote control has only two wires, yellow and white. They show motor term 1 and motor term 2, which would be the wires to power the linear actuator I think. If I had a drawing like the ebay one, showing the batt, remote switch, relay, and actuator showing what wires go to what terminals that would be great.

 

If you watch the video, and skip to the end where the guy tests it, it clearly shows 12v power to either the yellow wire or the white one when grounded in the circuit. A linear actuator runs off a small dc motor and to reverse direction, you just reverse the dc power leads to it. I'm powering the circuit with a 12v lawnmower battery. When I activate the remote control, how do I get the ground I need to power the actuator? Maybe I do need a spdt relay. Or maybe I need both,,the spdt and then the dpdt, but I'm not an electronics guy and can't figure it out. Another way to explain it is if I take JUST THE BATTERY and hook it up directly to the actuator, the cylinder will go all the way out. If I reverse the leads, it will return to its original position. But on the remote switch in the video that I am trying to use, how do I get a ground to complete the circuit.