Comedy Thread

[davenn]

 

[FuZZ1L0G1C]

Father Slattery, driving down the country road, sees a nun walking.
He pulls over and opening the passenger door, offers her a lift.
The young nun smiles at him and thanks him for his generosity.
"What a beautiful young lass" thinks the Father.
While travelling, a gust of wind whips the nun's habit up, exposing her calves.
Father Slattery notices, but sweating slightly, pretends not.
The car approaches a slight rise.
The Priest changes down, his hand quickly moving from gear-shift to touch her knee, then back to steering.
"Father, remember Psalm 147".
"Sorry, my hand slipped, my Child".
She tells him that her convent is a few miles further, then rolls her window down.
This time, another blast of wind whips her habit into her face, exposing thighs and black lace panties.
The Priest almost veers off the road with shock, but recovers.
To help the young woman, he grabs the fluttering end and pulls the habit away from her face.
While lowering the fabric, he 'accidentally' brushes his trembling hand against her thigh.
"Father, remember Psalm 147".
Exasperated and highly embarrassed, Father Slattery apologizes:
"Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak", he croaks hoarsely.
After dropping the Sister off at the convent gates, he drives at speed to his parish.
He rushes inside, and still red-faced, gets out The Good Book and pages to Psalm 147.
"Go forth and Seek - Further Up You will find Glory".

 

[davenn]

very good !!

 

[FuZZ1L0G1C]

A dodo is standing next to a thorn-tree, gazing wistfully at the branches.
“I wish I could fly like other birds, so I could perch up there” he says to a nearby grazing bull.
“Why don’t you eat some of my droppings?” suggests the bull.
“They’re packed with nutrients and will give you extra energy!”.
So the dodo pecks at the droppings for a while, then feeling a surge of energy, starts flapping his stubby wings vigorously.
He lifts off and lands on the lower branches.
“I did it! I did it!” shouts the ecstatic bird.
Just then, a farmer sees a large bird sitting in a distant thorn tree, so wanting some stew-meat for supper, aims his rifle through the bushes and shoots the bird.
Moral: Bullsh1t may get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

 

[FuZZ1L0G1C]

What is this world coming to?...
Perpetual-motion ‘Wardforce’ generators that supposedly defy Lenz’s Law,
“part of a magnet or magnetic field that is that is not a pole at all”,
Combustion engines that are boosted by water-electrolysis,
UFO-type electrostatic “anti-gravity” flying craft,
The list goes on…

Next thing they will be trying to convince us that the earth is round, travel through the ether is possible, humans can travel beneath the sea, (Verne fiction), or how about the fantasy of leaving our planet and actually touching the moon! – Ha!

UFO builder ‘A’ claims his ‘anti-gravity’ craft works in theory, but is limited by the amount of energy required (ie: the power-plant would be more massive than what the (HT repelling force) anti-gravity drive can lift.
So then why don’t builder ‘A’ and ‘B’ (Energy-“Wardforce” ingenuity) team up and create an anti-gravity craft that has limitless energy? ….

Seriously...
After following the debate & thread (comments) on Energy-ingenuity (this forum), I did some alternative research and conclude the following:
Dan Quale (overunity builder) on permies.com / Lenzless Linear Generator)) has put forward a theoretical idea for a more efficient electric generator on OS/Open Source, by reversing the effects of Lenz’s Law (not cancelling it). Apparently one of his ideas is to use it as a low-drag windmill - gen.
It appears that Ingeniuty (EP\home-power-and-μgen) came across this thread and has plagarized the article/theory but forgotten or partially comprehended the exact content of of Dan’s “magnetic-motor” modification theory.
As for the “video-proof” I opted not waste time viewing either – as somebody posted, videos are easy to fake.
Possibly the same video?
Another similar thread on the same site claims that HHO generators (water>electrolysis>2H & 1O) can (a) replace fossil fuels then (b) improve consumption was debunked by Mike Allen of Popular Mechanics ("Why water won’t improve MPG").
“To be a consistently good liar you need to have a good memory” {Abraham Lincoln}.

 

[73's de Edd]

 

[FuZZ1L0G1C]

 

[FuZZ1L0G1C]

Electron and Positron meet for the first time

 

[FuZZ1L0G1C]

add How Fights Start:
Wife, in front of full-length mirror:
"Dear, do these pants make me look too fat"?
Hubby:
"Nah, it's all the chocolate and crisps you shovel down".

 

[FuZZ1L0G1C]

Atom 1:
"I seem to have lost an electron"

Atom 2:
"Are you sure"?

Atom 1:
"Yes, I'm positive"!

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[73's de Edd]

 

[davenn]

Holy crap ... what a rats nest !!

When I was in telecom, I used to use 1000's of those 3-M connectors
but usually did a much better cabling layout than that !!

 

[73's de Edd]

What you FIND . . . . is what you GET .

 

[FuZZ1L0G1C]

Scanned / cropped this tongue-in-cheek poster from a 35mm photo I took in the 80's of an electronics component supplier's notice-board.

 

[FuZZ1L0G1C]

 

[FuZZ1L0G1C]

However ....

 

[FuZZ1L0G1C]

 

[FuZZ1L0G1C]

Woman helping husband to set up his computer.
Husband was in a cheeky mood, so when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it obvious to his wife that he was typing in the word PENIS.
The wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer responded,
“Password Rejected. Not long enough”.