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Comedy Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Members Lounge' started by davenn, Jul 25, 2013.

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  1. ChosunOne

    ChosunOne

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    Jun 20, 2010
    @bertus: Hahahahahahahahahaha!! ^^This ^^ is priceless!!
     
  2. Ylli

    Ylli

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    Jun 19, 2018
    I seldom watch these start to finish. This one I did, it was great!
     
  3. bertus

    bertus Moderator

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    Nov 8, 2019
    Life before autocad.jpg
     
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  4. davenn

    davenn Moderator

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    Sep 5, 2009
    the Year 2020 and the letters WTF.jpg
     
  5. davenn

    davenn Moderator

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    Sep 5, 2009
    I fixed my computer.jpg
     
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  6. 73's de Edd

    73's de Edd

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    Aug 21, 2015
    NEED HELP . . .
    Now the previous What The . . . # came thru solid, as this COMEDY Thread suggests
    But WTF with the one being just above ?
    Perceived as a dude drawing a self-serve draft for himself and two table companions ?

    Or is it only to be FULLY interpreted by a true drunk / sot / lush / wine-o
    Such as is not being perceived, by my being a full fledged, card carrying te-totaller
     
    Last edited: May 31, 2020
  7. davenn

    davenn Moderator

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    Sep 5, 2009

    not that either
    it's a guy who fixed his computer :)
     
  8. 73's de Edd

    73's de Edd

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    Aug 21, 2015
    AAAAAAAHHHHHHH . . . YES ! . . .now I recognize the computer housing . . . .yet, being even resplendenty complete with its floppydrive.
     
  9. shrtrnd

    shrtrnd

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    Jan 15, 2010
    I was there, done that. I even had the same haircut. Never even dreamed at the time I was going to be replaced by a machine.
     
  10. bertus

    bertus Moderator

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    Nov 8, 2019
    Found at AAC:

    IKEA cake.jpeg

    Bertus
     
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  11. bertus

    bertus Moderator

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    Nov 8, 2019
    playgound duty.png
     
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  12. bertus

    bertus Moderator

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    Nov 8, 2019
    Happy fathers day.jpg
     
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  13. Martaine2005

    Martaine2005

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    My wife did that while I was bottle feeding my son. Those were the days.
     
  14. (*steve*)

    (*steve*) ¡sǝpodᴉʇuɐ ǝɥʇ ɹɐǝɥd Moderator

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    Jan 21, 2010
    Your wife is your father?!?! (Very progressive!)
     
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  15. bertus

    bertus Moderator

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    Nov 8, 2019
    Found at AAC:

    chicks.png
     
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  16. bertus

    bertus Moderator

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    Nov 8, 2019
    Found again at AAC:

    rule number 1.png
     
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  17. bertus

    bertus Moderator

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    Nov 8, 2019
  18. bertus

    bertus Moderator

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    Nov 8, 2019
    Found at AAC:

    bach.jpg
     
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  19. bertus

    bertus Moderator

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    Nov 8, 2019
    Hashtag.jpg
     
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  20. bertus

    bertus Moderator

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    Nov 8, 2019
    I found this list on a site simply called music jokes. Enjoy!
    **GLOSSARY OF MUSICAL TERMS**

    ACCIDENTALS: Wrong notes
    AUGMENTED FIFTH: A 36-ounce bottle
    BROKEN CONSORT: When somebody in the ensemble has to leave and go to the restroom.
    CADENCE: When everybody hopes you're going to stop - but you don't
    CADENZA: The heroine in Monteverdi's opera "Frottola"
    CANTUS FIRMUS: The part you get when you can only play four notes
    CHANSONS DE GESTE: Dirty songs
    CLAUSULA: Mrs. Santa
    CROTCHET: A tritone with a bent prong or. . .
    CROTCHET: It's like knitting but it's faster
    CUT TIME: When you're going twice as fast as everybody else in the ensemble.
    DUCTIA: A lot of mallards
    EMBOUCHRE: The way you look when you've been playing the Krummhorn
    ESTAMPIE: What they put on letters in Quebec
    GARGLEFINKLEIN: A tiny recorder played by neums
    HOCKET: The thing that fits into a crochet to produce a rackett
    INTERVAL: How long it takes you to find the right note. There are three kinds:
    Major Interval: A long time
    Minor Interval: A few bars
    Inverted Interval: When you have to back one bar and try again
    INTONATION: Singing through one's nose. Considered highly desirable in the Middle Ages
    ISORHYTHMIC MOTET: When half of the ensemble got a different xerox than the other half
    MINNESINGER: A boy soprano or Mickey's girlfriend in the opera.
    MUSICA FICTA: When you lose your place and have to bluff till you find it again. Also known as faking
    NEUMS: Renaissance midgets
    NEUMATIC MELISMA: A bronchial disorder caused by hockets
    ORDO: The hero in Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings"
    PERFORMANCE PRACTISE: Sex education
    ROTA: An early Italian method of teaching music without score or parts
    TROTTO: An early Italian form of Montezuma's Revenge
    LAUDA: The difference between shawms and krummhorns
    SANCTA: Clausula's husband
    LASSO: The 6th and 5th steps of a descending scale
    DI LASSO: Popular with Italian cowboys
    LAI: What monks give up when they take their vows
    VIRELAI: A local woman known for her expertise in the Lai
    CONDUCTUS: The process of getting Vire into the cloister
    MOTET: Where you meet Vire if the cloister is guraded
    ORGANUM: You may not participate in the Lai without one
    PARALELL ORGANUM: Everybody standing in a double line, waiting for Vire
    MINIM: The time you spend with Vire when there is a long line
    BREVE: The time you spend when the line is short
    TEMPUS PERFECTUM: A good time was had by all
    TEMPUS IMPERFECTUM: Vire had to leave early
    LONGA: The time between visits with Vire
    PROLATION: Precautions taken before the Lai
    DRONE: The sound of a single monk during an attack of Crotchet
    RHYTHMIC DRONE: The sound of many monks suffering with Crotchet
    SOLESME: The state of mind after a rough case of Crotchet
    ISORHYTHM: The individual process of relief when Vire is out of town
    ORGANISTRUM: A job-related hazard for careless medieval percussionists, caused by getting one's tapper caught in the clapper
    HURDY-GURDY: A truss for medieval percussionists who get Organistrum
    QUAVER: Beginning viol class
    RACKETT: Capped reeds class
    RITORNELLO: An opera by Verdi
    SINE PROPRIETATE: Cussing in church
    SUPERTONIC: Schweppes
    TRANSPOSITION: An advanced recorder technique where you change from alto to soprano fingering (or vice-versa) in the middle of a piece
    TROPE: A malevolent Neum
    TUTTI: A lot of sackbuts
    STOPS: Something Bach did not have on his organ
    AGNUS DEI: A famous female church composer
    METRONOME: A dwarf who lives in the city
    ALLEGRO: Leg fertilizer
    RECITATIVE: A disease that Monteverdi had
    ORCHESTRAL SUITES: Naughty women who follow touring orchestras
    FINE: That was great!
    DA CAPO AL FINE: I like your hat!
    OPUS: A Penguin in Kansas
    FERMENTED FIFTH: What the percussion players keep behind the tympani, which resolves to a...
    DISTILLED FIFTH: What the conductor uses backstage...
     
    davenn likes this.
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