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Burial or cremation?

Every so often a daughter, spouse, or relative would ask, "When
you die, do you want to be cremated or buried?"

At first I'd say "I don't care." Or "I'll be dead, it won't
matter to me." Or else I'd start a rant about death-phobic
Americans, and funerals being for the living and not the dead,
and the Mexicans know how it's done; going down to the sepulchre
on Dias de los Muertos. Party with the deceased while being
forced to contemplate your own mortality!

But that didn't stop the question.

Hmmmmmm. Burial or cremation. Only two choices, eh?

Heh.

At first I made a habit of requesting an "Open Casket Cremation."
But then I stumbled across a Japanese article where such things
are already done! (The furnace chamber has a wall of high-temp
glass, so the family can retire to the viewing room to satisfy
their curiousity.)

Then I started coming up with more "creative" suggestions. How
about freezing me in liquid nitrogen, sharpening my head to a point,
then dropping me out of a plane over farmlands? A fertilizer
spike!

Let's see, what else...



(((((((((((((((((( ( ( ( ( (O) ) ) ) ) )))))))))))))))))))
William J. Beaty SCIENCE HOBBYIST website
[email protected] http://amasci.com
EE/programmer/sci-exhibits amateur science, hobby projects, sci fair
Seattle, WA 206-789-0775 unusual phenomena, tesla coils, weird sci
 
K

Ken S. Tucker

Jan 1, 1970
0
Every so often a daughter, spouse, or relative would ask, "When
you die, do you want to be cremated or buried?"

At first I'd say "I don't care." Or "I'll be dead, it won't
matter to me." Or else I'd start a rant about death-phobic
Americans, and funerals being for the living and not the dead,
and the Mexicans know how it's done; going down to the sepulchre
on Dias de los Muertos. Party with the deceased while being
forced to contemplate your own mortality!

But that didn't stop the question.

Hmmmmmm. Burial or cremation. Only two choices, eh?

Heh.

At first I made a habit of requesting an "Open Casket Cremation."
But then I stumbled across a Japanese article where such things
are already done! (The furnace chamber has a wall of high-temp
glass, so the family can retire to the viewing room to satisfy
their curiousity.)

Then I started coming up with more "creative" suggestions. How
about freezing me in liquid nitrogen, sharpening my head to a point,
then dropping me out of a plane over farmlands? A fertilizer
spike!

Let's see, what else...

I've willed my body to female CANNIBALS,
preferably AMAZONS, (one last time in a
chick :).
My 18 year old wife will get to keep
the best parts, to keep her from being
lonely well into her old age.
My meat will be well aged ~ 100 years,
aka well hung.
 
A

Abacus

Jan 1, 1970
0
Every so often a daughter, spouse, or relative would ask, "When
you die, do you want to be cremated or buried?"

You could always be plastinized, and gain a little bit or immortality
by appearing on late-night channel 4 dissection programs.
 
S

Sbharris[atsign]ix.netcom.com

Jan 1, 1970
0
Then I started coming up with more "creative" suggestions. How
about freezing me in liquid nitrogen, sharpening my head to a point,
then dropping me out of a plane over farmlands? A fertilizer
spike! <<

You could omit the sharpening and dropping part.

Look, if you had a hard drive crash full of irreplacable data, and the
recovery company said there was no way they knew how to recover any of
it in 2005, though some or even most of it might still be there in some
form, what would you do? Cremate it? Bury it?

Well, your brain is much the same kind of thing. Put it on the shelf
and see what the future brings.

SBH
 
D

Dirk Bruere at Neopax

Jan 1, 1970
0
Every so often a daughter, spouse, or relative would ask, "When
you die, do you want to be cremated or buried?"

At first I'd say "I don't care." Or "I'll be dead, it won't
matter to me." Or else I'd start a rant about death-phobic
Americans, and funerals being for the living and not the dead,
and the Mexicans know how it's done; going down to the sepulchre
on Dias de los Muertos. Party with the deceased while being
forced to contemplate your own mortality!

But that didn't stop the question.

Hmmmmmm. Burial or cremation. Only two choices, eh?

Heh.

At first I made a habit of requesting an "Open Casket Cremation."
But then I stumbled across a Japanese article where such things
are already done! (The furnace chamber has a wall of high-temp
glass, so the family can retire to the viewing room to satisfy
their curiousity.)

Then I started coming up with more "creative" suggestions. How
about freezing me in liquid nitrogen, sharpening my head to a point,
then dropping me out of a plane over farmlands? A fertilizer
spike!

Let's see, what else...
Get stuffed like Jeremy Bentham
http://www.frankieroberto.com/weblog/189.xhtml

--
Dirk

The Consensus:-
The political party for the new millenium
http://www.theconsensus.org
 
Perhaps its a matter for satisfaction or relief of fear, that the
hated/feared family member might return for retribution.

Why not do a web search on burial and cremation, and report back? I'll
swag that Christians, expecting resurrection, the vain, desiring
post-mortem worship, and those that cannot accept death will desire burial.

Those with contempt for society would desire cremation, for the opposite
reason; it puts them beyond any final acts of dishonor.

If you really want to do something novel, donate your body to science
and let some interns play pranks with your body parts.
More useful, for sure, but hardly novel.

Mati Meron | "When you argue with a fool,
[email protected] | chances are he is doing just the same"
 
D

Don Taylor

Jan 1, 1970
0
You could always be plastinized, and gain a little bit or immortality
by appearing on late-night channel 4 dissection programs.

Scientific American published an article about 100 years ago which
described patents that had been obtained for electroplating the dead.
I had photocopies of this buried here somewhere years ago.
It included a drawing of an infant suspended in a tank with the
electrodes attached. But I'm guessing they made this part up.

I never was able to track down the actual patents for this. There
was some indication they were european, perhaps dutch. But I had
other hints that they were american patents. However patents at
that time sometimes had a bit more "creativity" than they do now.

Then you still have to decide, copper? nickel? silver? gold?
And what pose? And where you are going to have them put you?
The local metal shop is probably going to turn the job down.
So which family member are you going to trust to do this?
 
H

hanson

Jan 1, 1970
0
Don Taylor said:
Abacus said:
You could always be plastinized, and gain a little bit or immortality
by appearing on late-night channel 4 dissection programs.
[Don]
Scientific American published an article about 100 years ago
which described patents that had been obtained for
------- electroplating the dead. ------------
I had photocopies of this buried here somewhere years ago.
It included a drawing of an infant suspended in a tank with the
electrodes attached. But I'm guessing they made this part up.
[hanson]
I wouldn't be surprised if that was a limited fad in certain social
circles at a certain period in time. A version of preservation of
state was popular till the early 1960's, where parents decided
to have the first baby shoes of their offspring electroplated with
silver of gold. They then hung them from the rearview mirror in
their family station wagon...... ahahaha.... hey, different strokes
for different folks..... ahahaha... ahahanson
 
O

OsherD

Jan 1, 1970
0
From Osher Doctorow

Don't die. Get a big family or your clan to pickle your brain in
alcohol (Harris probably had this idea too) at approximately the moment
of death and have them keep running with it like Raiders of the Lost
Ark. It's true that from all that we can tell with instruments,
there's an awful lot of destruction of brain cells and no sign of
consciousness, but heck, there's even information coming out of black
holes and according to some big theorists some of it encoded into
spacetime geometry near black holes. Someday another Civilization
smarter than ours (probably another species too, unless you have a
hangup on apes) may decide to revive whatever's left or clone our
brains from what's left. Of course, with all that alcohol, we might
start resembling some of the Elitists on sci.physics.

Osher Doctorow
 
S

Scott Stephens

Jan 1, 1970
0
I stumbled across a Japanese article where such things
are already done! (The furnace chamber has a wall of high-temp
glass, so the family can retire to the viewing room to satisfy
their curiousity.)

Perhaps its a matter for satisfaction or relief of fear, that the
hated/feared family member might return for retribution.

Why not do a web search on burial and cremation, and report back? I'll
swag that Christians, expecting resurrection, the vain, desiring
post-mortem worship, and those that cannot accept death will desire burial.

Those with contempt for society would desire cremation, for the opposite
reason; it puts them beyond any final acts of dishonor.

If you really want to do something novel, donate your body to science
and let some interns play pranks with your body parts.

Scott

--
**********************************

DIY Piezo-Gyro, PCB Drill Bot & More Soon!
http://home.comcast.net/~scottxs/

POLITICS, n.
A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

There is no giant behind the devastation of the world—only a shriveled
creature with the wizened
face of a child who is out to blow up the kitchen because he cannot
steal his cookies and eat them, too. - Ayn Rand
**********************************
 
S

Scott Stephens

Jan 1, 1970
0
Dirk said:

That's getting popular! I've searched for the last several minutes for
an article, posted on another news group last year, about people that
have their family members stuffed. It costs a few thousand dollars. One
woman had her child stuffed. A family had there grandma stuffed, but the
foot started mildewing and the dog chewed it off and buried it or something.

Scott

--
**********************************

DIY Piezo-Gyro, PCB Drill Bot & More Soon!
http://home.comcast.net/~scottxs/

POLITICS, n.
A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

There is no giant behind the devastation of the world—only a shriveled
creature with the wizened
face of a child who is out to blow up the kitchen because he cannot
steal his cookies and eat them, too. - Ayn Rand
**********************************
 
R

RST Engineering \(jw\)

Jan 1, 1970
0
You idiots that respond to this with bottom posting do understand that
nobody reads your posts, don't you?

Jim
 
O

OsherD

Jan 1, 1970
0
From Osher Doctorow

RST Engineering (jw) said:
You idiots that respond to this with >bottom posting do understand that
nobody reads your posts, don't you?


Could you run that by me again? I was born 66 years ago approximately,
before they handed out computers. I guess that just makes me a visitor
on the internet. :>)

Osher
 
L

Lambing Flat

Jan 1, 1970
0
Scott said:
If you really want to do something novel, donate your body to science
and let some interns play pranks with your body parts.

But Scott, what if Science doesn't want it..... ;-)


--
James McInerney

My G gauge garden homage to the now long gone railways of Tasmania's
west coast, the "Rurr Valley Railway"
http://www.cia.com.au/bullack/rvrtitle.html

also http://www.cia.com.au/bullack/ , where the steam era NSWGR
secondary lines live on in HO at bucolic "Lambing Flat"

and http://members.optusnet.com.au/lambingflat/ for the family stuff!
 
P

Paul Burke

Jan 1, 1970
0
Hmmmmmm. Burial or cremation. Only two choices, eh?

At first I made a habit of requesting an "Open Casket Cremation."
But then I stumbled across a Japanese article where such things
are already done! (The furnace chamber has a wall of high-temp
glass, so the family can retire to the viewing room to satisfy
their curiousity.)

Perhaps prompted by the case last year in which a crematorium operator
was found to be simply stacking the corpses up round the back? At least
this way you can see that you are getting your moneysworth.

Paul Burke
 
S

Spehro Pefhany

Jan 1, 1970
0
That's getting popular! I've searched for the last several minutes for
an article, posted on another news group last year, about people that
have their family members stuffed. It costs a few thousand dollars. One
woman had her child stuffed. A family had there grandma stuffed, but the
foot started mildewing and the dog chewed it off and buried it or something.

Scott

The stuffed great leaders seem to require regular maintenance- Lenin,
Mao, Bulgaria's Georgi Dimitrov (taken off display and cremated in
1990), and Ho Chi Minh are the ones that come to mind. Hmm.. maybe a
combination of animatronics, tanning and taxidermy could preserve some
of your more annoying^H^H^H characteristic mannerisms and witticisms
for posterity.

There are companies that claim to take your remains and make precious
stones or pottery from them (after cremation).


Best regards,
Spehro Pefhany
 
A

Ade Vickers

Jan 1, 1970
0
Spehro Pefhany said:
combination of animatronics, tanning and taxidermy could preserve some
of your more annoying^H^H^H characteristic mannerisms and witticisms
for posterity.

I suggest reading Tom Sharpe's book "The Throwback", which actually
describes (in exquisite detail) the process of combining animatronics &
taxidermy on the human body.

It's a very very funny book.
 
A

AJW

Jan 1, 1970
0
To paraphrase Bob Hope, who when asked where he wanted to be buried,
said "surprise me."

More seriously, I'd seen too many gravesites looking lonely and uncared
for: my answer is an unmarked site, or none at all. Cremation is the
ultimate sharing: assuming a well mixed atmosphere, everyone will
breathe part of you with every breath.
 
D

Dirk Bruere at Neopax

Jan 1, 1970
0
OsherD said:
Don't die. Get a big family or your clan to pickle your brain in
alcohol (Harris probably had this idea too) at approximately the moment
of death and have them keep running with it like Raiders of the Lost
Ark. It's true that from all that we can tell with instruments,
there's an awful lot of destruction of brain cells and no sign of
consciousness, but heck, there's even information coming out of black
holes and according to some big theorists some of it encoded into
spacetime geometry near black holes. Someday another Civilization
smarter than ours (probably another species too, unless you have a
hangup on apes) may decide to revive whatever's left or clone our
brains from what's left. Of course, with all that alcohol, we might
start resembling some of the Elitists on sci.physics.

Cryonics - Alcor.

--
Dirk

The Consensus:-
The political party for the new millenium
http://www.theconsensus.org
 
S

Spehro Pefhany

Jan 1, 1970
0
Spehro Pefhany said:


I suggest reading Tom Sharpe's book "The Throwback", which actually
describes (in exquisite detail) the process of combining animatronics &
taxidermy on the human body.

It's a very very funny book.

Wikipedia: "Readers tend to find Sharpe's work either extremely
offensive or outrageously funny." ;-)

Okay, I'll pick it up.


Best regards,
Spehro Pefhany
 
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